so my hair has been through alot: relaxers, hot oil treatments, tremendous cuts and trims, ridicules and haters. here is how my story went:
my mom pressed my hair all the time. thats all she knew how to do. my mom did not know how to comb hair. it shows because other than her beautician, i am her primary hair stylist. my mom could put those big twist plaits in my hair, but nothing else. my hair draw up went it was wet and natural. my waist length hair looked like it was about shoulder length. i hated getting my hair done by her. she was so heavy-handed and rough with a comb. it was always a crying match. i always wanted to wear my hair down and pressed, but my mom said that it wouldn't be flattering on a ten year old. when i was in the fifth grade, my mom was talked into getting me a relaxer to help with my tamed hair. she agreed and took me to a stylist. mom loved the way my hair was easily managed, until it got wet. my hair gets really poofy when wet and it looks like a soft afro and it is hard to comb. at waist length, my mom was astonished at the length. everytime i went to the salon to get a relaxer or just a style, my mom stayed right there with me, because the stylist wanted to cut my hair because she said it was too much for her to style. thats why my mom stayed around. my mom was already paying her extra to take care of my longer hair. why did she want to cut it? one day, my mom decided that she needed to stay home while i got my hair done. the lady cut my hair! she cut to where my BSL mark would be. my mom was pissed. she asked why she did it, and the lady said that i had bad ends. my mom was horrified and in disbelief. i got a trim every relaxer, how did my ends get so bad where i need like a foot of hair chopped off, lol. so i stopped going to her and went to lady that did hair a chair from her, lol. not a big change of scenery. this lady told my mom because of my forehead, the shape of my head and my age that bangs would look pretty on me. so she cut them. i liked them and mom did too. my mom was satisfied and continued to take me to her. over the course of a few months, my hair reached WL again. my mom was happy, and so was i. one day, the lady had some kind of family prob and couldn't uphold a previously made appointment. so my mom settled, and moved me back down to my old stylist. at first, i thought things were going well until she said that she think she put a "bad" relaxer in my hair. i was horrified. i rosed from the shampoo chair to clumps coming out of my head. OF MY HAIR!!! i called my mom. this lady was not going to finish my hair. my mom was pissed! she got me and took me out of the shop and i never returned. my mom took me to her stylist. the lady cut my WL hair to BSL. i cried the entire time. but they told me to be lucky that i didn't lose all of it. so i was grateful. and over the course of a year my hair grazed WL again. after that, i was my own stylist.
i was going through a lot of shedding. my mom was tired of seeing long strands of hair all over the place. so she talked to grandmother about it and she told my mom that i need a hot oil treatment. i didn't know what they were. but i trust my grandmother so much. so she put one in my hair. i don't know what brand it was. i don't what pack it was in. all i can remember was the smell. IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! and it had to stay in until it got hard, which took forever! finally it was rinsed out and my hair stopped shedding. my mom was satisfied. i was too. my hair seemed stronger. i read later that it was a protein treatment, aphogee. since, i have needed another, but was too afraid to apply it myself. so i use queen helene hot oil treatments to help me with a little protein. i am in love with them and used to use them every wash instead of a conditioning. now i know that i need a conditioning, a good one every wash.
in high school, i got teased alot because of my hair. my cousins even teased me, saying that i looked "homely" and poor because i couldn't get my hair to stay in a ponytail because it was so bushy. my mom told me it was because i am bi-racial where my hair tends to curl up alot when wet. i didn't know what being half white had to do with hair, all i know what i wanted to look like the rest of the children: tamed hair. my hair used to hang behind me, but not down my back. my hair kind of stuck behind me and followed me like this huge brown and red shadow. children used to tell me there was a cloud behind me, a death cloud. thinking back, the comments are funny now. but then i was horrified. even by the time i graduated, i didn't have a hang on how to style my hair everyday, but at least then, my hair was the healthiest. i can remember when i was in the ninth grade, this girl decided to cut my hair while i was sleep. one side of my head was way shorter than the other side. my mom tried to let me go to the beautician, enforcing that she didn't want my hair cut. my hair grew out. by this time, my dad's family was really working my nerves about how i was only trying to look like my older cousin. so in the tenth grade, i cut all my hair to EL. everyone was horrified, but i loved the way i felt afterwards. i felt like i had a name. granted, i didn't know how to care for short hair, and i didn't take advantage of this starting over thing. i let my hair go back into my same old thing, washing my hair twice a month! i don't know what i was thinking.
now my hair is about two inches from APL. this is the longest it has been in seven years. i am ready to have my healthy hair back. i am ready to have my long hair back. i vow that i will never take advantage of it again. my old classmates that didn't like me before are quick to ask me do i have weave in my hair. even my own family ask me is my hair real. its so sad that they are at that such disbelief when they know first hand that my hair practically touched my butt not ten years back. as i look back, i used to want to grow my hair to look pretty. i used to want to grow hair just to show others that used to ridicule me that i can. now, i just want my hair back for me. i love it. i made a vow today. i let my hair down for the first time in a few weeks. i saw how full my hair is. i saw how pretty and full of body it is, and today i am two months post. i love me and i love everything about me. i will no longer worry myself about my hair is taking too long to grow. i have a lot of hair, more hair than some people have. if i can at keep this length (never get shorter than this) and keep this thickness, i will love my hair forever.
my mom pressed my hair all the time. thats all she knew how to do. my mom did not know how to comb hair. it shows because other than her beautician, i am her primary hair stylist. my mom could put those big twist plaits in my hair, but nothing else. my hair draw up went it was wet and natural. my waist length hair looked like it was about shoulder length. i hated getting my hair done by her. she was so heavy-handed and rough with a comb. it was always a crying match. i always wanted to wear my hair down and pressed, but my mom said that it wouldn't be flattering on a ten year old. when i was in the fifth grade, my mom was talked into getting me a relaxer to help with my tamed hair. she agreed and took me to a stylist. mom loved the way my hair was easily managed, until it got wet. my hair gets really poofy when wet and it looks like a soft afro and it is hard to comb. at waist length, my mom was astonished at the length. everytime i went to the salon to get a relaxer or just a style, my mom stayed right there with me, because the stylist wanted to cut my hair because she said it was too much for her to style. thats why my mom stayed around. my mom was already paying her extra to take care of my longer hair. why did she want to cut it? one day, my mom decided that she needed to stay home while i got my hair done. the lady cut my hair! she cut to where my BSL mark would be. my mom was pissed. she asked why she did it, and the lady said that i had bad ends. my mom was horrified and in disbelief. i got a trim every relaxer, how did my ends get so bad where i need like a foot of hair chopped off, lol. so i stopped going to her and went to lady that did hair a chair from her, lol. not a big change of scenery. this lady told my mom because of my forehead, the shape of my head and my age that bangs would look pretty on me. so she cut them. i liked them and mom did too. my mom was satisfied and continued to take me to her. over the course of a few months, my hair reached WL again. my mom was happy, and so was i. one day, the lady had some kind of family prob and couldn't uphold a previously made appointment. so my mom settled, and moved me back down to my old stylist. at first, i thought things were going well until she said that she think she put a "bad" relaxer in my hair. i was horrified. i rosed from the shampoo chair to clumps coming out of my head. OF MY HAIR!!! i called my mom. this lady was not going to finish my hair. my mom was pissed! she got me and took me out of the shop and i never returned. my mom took me to her stylist. the lady cut my WL hair to BSL. i cried the entire time. but they told me to be lucky that i didn't lose all of it. so i was grateful. and over the course of a year my hair grazed WL again. after that, i was my own stylist.
i was going through a lot of shedding. my mom was tired of seeing long strands of hair all over the place. so she talked to grandmother about it and she told my mom that i need a hot oil treatment. i didn't know what they were. but i trust my grandmother so much. so she put one in my hair. i don't know what brand it was. i don't what pack it was in. all i can remember was the smell. IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! and it had to stay in until it got hard, which took forever! finally it was rinsed out and my hair stopped shedding. my mom was satisfied. i was too. my hair seemed stronger. i read later that it was a protein treatment, aphogee. since, i have needed another, but was too afraid to apply it myself. so i use queen helene hot oil treatments to help me with a little protein. i am in love with them and used to use them every wash instead of a conditioning. now i know that i need a conditioning, a good one every wash.
in high school, i got teased alot because of my hair. my cousins even teased me, saying that i looked "homely" and poor because i couldn't get my hair to stay in a ponytail because it was so bushy. my mom told me it was because i am bi-racial where my hair tends to curl up alot when wet. i didn't know what being half white had to do with hair, all i know what i wanted to look like the rest of the children: tamed hair. my hair used to hang behind me, but not down my back. my hair kind of stuck behind me and followed me like this huge brown and red shadow. children used to tell me there was a cloud behind me, a death cloud. thinking back, the comments are funny now. but then i was horrified. even by the time i graduated, i didn't have a hang on how to style my hair everyday, but at least then, my hair was the healthiest. i can remember when i was in the ninth grade, this girl decided to cut my hair while i was sleep. one side of my head was way shorter than the other side. my mom tried to let me go to the beautician, enforcing that she didn't want my hair cut. my hair grew out. by this time, my dad's family was really working my nerves about how i was only trying to look like my older cousin. so in the tenth grade, i cut all my hair to EL. everyone was horrified, but i loved the way i felt afterwards. i felt like i had a name. granted, i didn't know how to care for short hair, and i didn't take advantage of this starting over thing. i let my hair go back into my same old thing, washing my hair twice a month! i don't know what i was thinking.
now my hair is about two inches from APL. this is the longest it has been in seven years. i am ready to have my healthy hair back. i am ready to have my long hair back. i vow that i will never take advantage of it again. my old classmates that didn't like me before are quick to ask me do i have weave in my hair. even my own family ask me is my hair real. its so sad that they are at that such disbelief when they know first hand that my hair practically touched my butt not ten years back. as i look back, i used to want to grow my hair to look pretty. i used to want to grow hair just to show others that used to ridicule me that i can. now, i just want my hair back for me. i love it. i made a vow today. i let my hair down for the first time in a few weeks. i saw how full my hair is. i saw how pretty and full of body it is, and today i am two months post. i love me and i love everything about me. i will no longer worry myself about my hair is taking too long to grow. i have a lot of hair, more hair than some people have. if i can at keep this length (never get shorter than this) and keep this thickness, i will love my hair forever.
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