Venting: Not Meeting Hair Goals When You Want To

It is Sunday and I am sick. I am actually better than I was Thursday. Today, I got me two shots in the back side and three prescriptions, so I am slowly getting better. I was sitting here reading a couple of blogs and decided that I wanted to vent. This has been on my heart for a while. Its going down on this post.
This is going to be a short post, so don't go away too fast.

Ok, I have been waiting for lengths are lengths, but I am not getting anywhere. Sometimes, I want to tear my hair out because it is not growing how I want it to grow. It has been four years almost, why have I not been able to claim APL yet? Why haven't I made it to BSL yet? Is MBL and WL even an option for me? I have seen where my hair has become extremely healthy and I am very grateful for that. At first, all I was about was length, length, length. I wasn't even thinking about any health. Later in my HHJ, I realized that without healthy hair that there cannot be any longer hair. So, I swallowed my pride and gave my hair TLC. Paying extra attention my hair has paid off. At first, my hair took awhile to adjust to the kind of love I was giving it. My hair was actually repelling what I was doing. If I was doing a protein treatment, DC, relaxer, stretch, moisturizing, sealing, flat-ironning, simply looking at it...my hair would not take nor budge. It took ONE YEAR before my hair recognized that I was trying to right by it. So my hair started thanking me, by complying to the different things I was trying to do. My hair is still extremely stubborn, but I have to listen closely to what it want because it will take absolutely nothing for it to revert back to an non-healthy place. It sounds crazy, but it is just the truth. So, I may have not reached goals, but I am excited that my hair is healthy. Lately, I have not been in the mood to style my hair worth anything. With that being said, I will go out into public and people would say, "I heard your hair was looking good, but it seems like I got some wrong info." LOL. I get so tickled. I rather pin my hair down than be a slave to keeping my hair up at this point. I have not been enjoying my hair. So I am at that stage where I am "resting" from trying to hide my hair from others. So, maybe it will look a little crazy (by crazy, my hair is actually in a pinned bun), but I love my hair and that means a lot coming from me. I used to hate my hair and hide countlessly. But I am going to enjoy it, despite the fact that I have not made it to major landmarks. I will not stress myself about this anymore. By my December relaxer, I am hoping to be a naturally fallen APL (meaning that my hair is naturally APL without stretching my length). This will be my finally landmark goal. Come January 2013, I will continue to take care of my hair as properly. BUT, I will not longer predict length goals. It is added stress that I rather do without right now. I am about to enjoy my hair, what are you about to do with yours???

XOXO