Why Have I Been This Length Forever?!

I have been armpit length a very long time. It frustrates me because I have been longer. I have tested those waters before. I know what it feels like. I have been there and I would love to be back there. The length I am talking about is waist length. Long years ago, I used to be waist length. However, I wanted to try a short style. So, I had my waist length hair cut to ear length. I felt like I was being compared to a cousin who had hair near my length, but not quite mines. I wanted my own personality. It was fun while it last, but now I want hair. I have stopped all of my unhealthy habits: flat ironning once a week, washing my hair only one every two months, not using a heat protectant, using cotton scarves at night time, relaxing every five weeks. It was so hard to give up, but I achieved it. But I still suffer from horrible split ends, which causes me to trim excessively throughout the year. I suffer from horrible dry hair, which increases my breakage. I sleep rough which causes me to lose my head coverage at night times. I relax four to five times a year. I trim my hair twice a year. Heat protectant is a must with a once a month heat pass. I use protein when needed, DC when needed. So, why am I still APL? It is completely frustrating. I even take my biotin now. I am hoping for a little something to hold on to this summer. I am stretching until the second week of August. That will put me at 10 weeks. After I get that relaxer, I do believe that I would like to stretch to thanksgiving or christmas. However, my hair not growing is leaving me to the point where I may want to call my HHJ quits. I feel like I already have mentally. My hair is stressing me out. I don't want to be like that. I have other things to worry about and I do not want my hair to add on extra stress that I cannot afford. So, if I quit this journey, what would I do? I don't know. It gets hard to read my hair boards and type this blog when I feel like a failure, hair wise at least. What can I blog about, that my hair is still the same? Honestly, I cannot even tell u if my hair is healthy or not. (sighs) maybe one day...