As you may have already known, I cut my hair about two weeks ago to full shoulder length. I saw that my ends were dead and that I really needed to let go of the ends to maintain a full head of healthy hair. I want to fully commit to my hair maintaining its health rather than length. To me, I am doing my hair a good deed. The conversation I had earlier today made me question everything I have been doing about my hair.
LONG HISTORY LESSON, I was bullied back in my school days. My hair never looked the best due to the fact that my mother never really knew how to style little girls hair. So I caught a lot of crap due to the fact that my hair was poor in presentation. My hair was fried, dried out and brittle. My hair was choppy and would not lay down. So I got bullied for the devastating mess that had nerves to call itself a head of hair. I would come home and cry and pray that my hair would grow out and look nice. I graduated high school in 2006 and started my HHJ in 2008. I have yet to look back.
TODAY, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me what was my plan for the day. I told her that I was disappointed that I could not braid my hair because of the poor quality of braid hair I purchased. She proceeded to rip me a new one. She reminded me of my previous struggle of where I came from a bad stage of horrible hair. She reminded me that I would come home and cry and pray and complain about my hair. She told me that I was ungrateful for cutting my hair and always wanting to put weave in my hair when The Lord has blessed me with improved hair. She told me that I act like I have forgotten where I have came from, like I took my blessing for granted. So, the guilt rolled in.
I started to think that maybe I am ungrateful. I prayed for longer, better looking hair for years. I mean, LOOK AT MY STARTING PIC!!!! My hair was bad! AND it was worse than that. So, I felt like I really cut out all of the blessings from my hair. I started tugging on my SL hair, slightly ashamed of myself. I started flipping through my phone of Longer-Hair-Lexis. I started really missing the nicer, longer hair. It was official; I had began to regret my hair cut.
For a quick minute, my HHJ thinking went out of the window. After sulking from the tongue lashing, I started remembering my six inches that I cut. They were split, they were dry and beyond repair. My hair was uneven, and I evened it. My ends looked bad and I got rid of them. My roots are thick but my ends were stringy. I wanted to separate myself from them. I had to snap myself back; I am doing the right thing for my hair, I had to remind myself. I am not being selfish. From 2008 up until now, I am not and will not take on the title of a self-proclaimed hair guru. I do not know everything there is to know about hair. My blog is not a tip, look at me, follow my guidelines to healthy hair blog. I am a one day at a time blog; I make mistakes and I continue to learn from them. I make good decisions and bad decisions. But I am not going to skip around the bad parts to avoid making my blog look bad or less than a progressing one. That would not be an accurate account of my HHJ. To make this lesson cohesive with my trim, I would be lying to myself if I kept those bad ends. My hair was not flourishing with those bad ends and I should not keep them if I cannot benefit from them. With that being said, I proudly rock the inches that I have. I hate when hairstyles do not go my way, but there is no reason to hate the choices I make with my hair if it means that I am trying to do right by my hair.
I am so thankful for the cut. I know what it is like to possess a healthy head of hair now. I am currently rocking my hair at the greatest health that it has ever been. My goals right now is to maintain my healthy hair and grow it longer. In addition, I am trying to proceed to full texlaxed hair. I have to respect my mother, but there are some things that I may have to take a deaf ear to.
After all, no one is on my HHJ journey but me.
Until the next post,
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