I wasn't ready

What is my title about? Today was my alma mater's homecoming. I haven't attended a high school event since I have been out of school, five years ago. I haven't seen many of my classmates, maybe two every now and then. But the opportunity arosed today to go tailgate. I went to the tailgate. I saw three classmates then. One asked me to come to homecoming game. I told her ok. My brother has only been out of high school a year. When my brother came home for the festivities, he made sure he looked good for the parade and the tailgating. For the game, he dressed up really nice. He wanted to look like an "alumini," he said. I asked jokingly, you want to show people that you are doing something with your life. He said of course. After the comment was made and responded to, I started feeling uneasy. I didn't want to go all of a sudden. I felt inferior to people, even though I am probably one out of every twenty five people I would have bumped into to go to college. But why did I feel like I wasn't doing anything with myself. I felt really bad. I did not feel like I had anything going for me. So, I stayed home, writing this blog, feeling like a lame. I was not ready to show my face. I was not ready to go out and do this. My high school experience was horrible; I didn't have many friends. I was picked on alot. Even though I am probably doing alot more than what some of these same people are doing, I did not feel that way.
What is wrong with me???